Thursday, April 11, 2013

Loud Commercials - There Oughta be a Law.....What? There Is?

According to the FCC's website:
"Federal Communications Commission (FCC or Commission) rules require commercials to have the same average volume as the programs they accompany. In the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation (CALM) Act, Congress directed the FCC to establish these rules, which went into effect on December 13, 2012."

I hereby use this platform to formally invite the FCC to watch TV in my house.  Not a night goes by without reaching for the remote because of a loud commercial.   The most worn button on my remote is the mute.  Want to blast some loud music into my house, Home Depot?  Be mute!  What?  You're the Pizza Hut ad that comes after the loud Home Depot commercial?  Sorry, I can't hear you because you're mute too.  And you too, T-Mobile. And Chili's. And Ford Fusion. And fuck you, Flo from Progressive Insurance.  And fuck what's next on NBC.  All because the assholes at Home Depot CAN'T KEEP THE NOISE DOWN!

Shh!  Sorry.  Indoor font.

If this law is anything like, say, our gun laws, there's probably a lot of wiggle room for broadcasters to get around actually doing the what was intended.  The FCC says that commercials are to "have the same average volume as the programs they accompany".  So who figures out the average volume of each show on TV, and who makes sure the commercial volume does not not exceed this volume in the name of the CALM act?

A man named Noah.  Noah Bahdy.

All broadcaster have to do is plead poverty to get an extra year or two to comply. The law states: "For any television broadcast station, cable operator, or other multichannel video programming distributor that demonstrates that obtaining the equipment to comply with the regulation adopted pursuant to subsection (a) would result in financial hardship, the Federal Communications Commission may grant a waiver of the effective date set forth in paragraph (1) for 1 year and may renew such waiver for 1 additional year."

Wiggle, wiggle.  

And more wiggle:  "Nothing in this section affects the Commission’s authority under section 1.3 of its rules (47 C.F.R. 1.3) to waive any rule required by this Act, or the application of any such rule, for good cause shown to a television broadcast station, cable operator, or other multichannel video programming distributor, or to a class of such stations, operators, or distributors."

So the FCC can just waive the rules if they want?  For good cause?  

Surely the compliance section will lay down the law, right?

"COMPLIANCE.—Any broadcast television operator, cable operator, or other multichannel video programming distributor that installs, utilizes, and maintains in a commercially reasonable manner the equipment and associated software in compliance with the regulations issued by the Federal Communications Commission in accordance with subsection (a) shall be deemed to be in compliance with such regulations."

If they don't comply, they won't be deemed to be in compliance.  

That is correct, Capt. Yossarian!

-Steve

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